i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
