So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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