That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
did you just send me my own nude
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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