i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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