when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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