So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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