come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize