there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
