is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
