Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
only if we run a train.
done.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
