i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
