am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
