Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
