What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
