If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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