Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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