if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
