So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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