It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
