Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
