Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
