Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
