Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
