we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
