fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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