oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
