Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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