He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
