ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
