I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He? As in you personified your dick?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
