I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
