i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
