He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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