Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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