$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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