How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize