I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
