Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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