Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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