To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
