Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
