I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
tell me about the fingering
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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