my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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