My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm always down for nudity.
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