I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
