I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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