No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Say something about gay babies.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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