seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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