New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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