That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
