So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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