you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i've created a new STD.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
