How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
