think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Small penises have feelings too.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
