i barfeds in our rink
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What a dumb baby whore.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
