Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
